Angry sex

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Just read this on Kinkly. A woman shares her feeling about sex when her partner is angry with her.

I've had quite a few angry quarrels that ended with my lover punishing me by using me as his sex toy. One was a brutal rape that ended with me surrendering with an orgasm and getting called a slut for being able to have one while being raped. On other occasions it was just mental coercion into demeaning sex, whippings, beatings, humiliation, punishment, bondage and submission? It's a complex emotion. When my lover is very very angry with me, it also means he is very passionate about me, his connection to me is total. I like that 100 percent focus on me, except that I wish he was just as passionate when he is very pleased with me. If I'm to blame to some extent, I somehow internalize his anger and take his side. Some sort of sexual Stockholm syndrome. I get angry with myself and part of me wants to help him to punish me. I empathize with his anger and want to help him get his revenge. I hate myself the way he hates me. I'm just wired that way. Sometimes, I've won the battle of words but my lover refuses to give in and wins by dominating me sexually and forcing me to retract. The best way to shut my mouth is with his cock and with his semen all over my face, his victory is complete, but my feminine nature is to submit and lose out completely. I even cum sometimes but am sexually aroused by my degradation often. This is totally at odds with my personality in public when I can be very hot tempered and uncompromising.

Car sex with Fred

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I'm excited by raw sex without love

Yes, Fred and I realized I get turned on by raw sex without love. One of our favorite foreplay dirty talking is to for him to say he just wants to fuck my sexy body alone, and that he doesn't care for me at all. This would make a lot of women angry and turn them off sex but for me, it has the opposite effect. I get aroused by the idea that my man is so superior to me that he can take and conquer me sexually without having to say nice things to me..

Fred likes to make me feel like his sex slave by drawing on my body. He would write words "slut " and "whore " or "Fred's sex slave" or "I worship Fred's cock" over my buttocks and breasts and my groin and  I'm not allowed to erase them. Wearing these words on my body the whole day made me very horny for him. Sometimes he would draw a cock and balls on my breast or my buttock. Once he even drew one between my breasts and made me wear a low cut dress. It was so embarrassing and yet so stimulating.

 Ill always remember one memorable day in Bali on one of our many trips abroad. We rented a  beautiful villa high up on a slope overlooking the beach. There was a private pool and a an open pavilion with two massage beds overlooking the ocean. Once we had settled down and unpacked, Fred sent the villa attendants off so we were all alone with privacy and yet open to the sky and sea. Fred grabbed me in the living room and we were kissing and tongueing and his hands were all over me, grabbing my buttocks and breasts. Soon I was completely stripped by him and we were both lying naked except for my high heels on the carpet  in the middle of the living room floor. He tied my hands behind my back which I love. He took up a fine permanent marker and started drawing and writing on my breasts. Soon both my breasts were covered with sexy writings and erotic  drawings like "I fucked Fred in Bali " or "this body belongs to Fred" and there were drawings like kamasutra, of a man and a woman in all positions. There were even a couple of drawings of a woman being fucked by three men, and drawings of a woman tied up. The drawings went to my belly and to my buttocks. Fred is a good drawer and By the time he was done, I was like a bitch in heat.

He took out my vibrator penis Mr Blue and put it deep inside my vagina secured it with strings around my neck. He also tied my breasts with rope so they  bulged forwards and looked bigger. That turns me on. Then he applied nipple clamps to my nipples. When he turned on the vibrating dildo, i was so excited, I started to gyrate and twist my bidy and moan in pleasure. He  started to bite me all over leaving love bites all over my neck and upper chest. And both breasts were also covered with love bites. So was my belly and my buttocks. I was so excited, within ten minutes I groaned "Im
going to cum!.." He stopped immediately and switched off Mr Blue,  and made me kneel up to suck
his cock which I did with gusto hungrily and with slurping sounds and saliva drooling down my lips. My hand was still tied behind my back so I couldn't use my hands but I coudknt get enough of his cock so I started to do strokes like mouth fucking, withdrawing until only the tip is in my mouth and swirling my tongue around the groove under his glans head, and the sliding my lips round his shaft until I was as deep as I could and then withdrawing back, up and down. When he started to stiffen and his balls began to contract, I withdrew and stopped.

He pulled the rope round my neck to drag me off my knees to my feet so we were standing very closely face to face and looking at each other's eyes breathless with lust and pleasure for a long minute. "How do you want me?" he began his usual domination talk which he had written for us . " I want every inch of you deep inside me, in my mouth, in my cunt, and in my anus...." I began my declaration of total submission to him, something that's what I feel is the ultimate in sex, " I want you with my heart and soul and from the depths of my cunt. I want you to penetrate me deeply, possess my body completely and fuck me until I lose myself totally with no hope of rescue."

"Beg me if you want me" he commanded. "Please let me be the one who has the privilege of being your sex slave and whore today. Please use my mind and body to pleasure yourself. Let me have the
great honor of having your cock in my body" I recited the words which made his cock harden and twitch against my belly and which also made me ooze cunt juice.

"Do you love me?" I asked. " No! I only want to use you and your body for my sexual pleasure only  as long as you interest me. When you no longer excite me, I will leave you." My nipples erected with this answer. I Can't help being aroused by a man who only wants me for sex. "You are to make yourself into my dream sex toy and doll as much as you can." I replied, " yes Fred, my love for you is free and comes with no strings attached. I love it when you are so manly and so strong, you can make cunts like me do anything you want. I need you inside me, between my legs. Please fuck me hard now. Take me. Use me. Cum inside me."

"Pleasure me first, " he commanded. Fred sat down in the sofa with a grand view of the ocean throug the French windows. He untied my hands and Mr Blue from my cunt. I knelt by his side me and started sucking his cock head and pumping his shaft. He put his hands behind my buttocks and started stroking my slit and clit. When I saw his cock stiffen and his balls rhythm change I would stop and knead the head of his cock firmly with my thumb to discourage his cumming. But before he relaxed I would start licking and sucking and pumping his shaft again. Whe I almost ready to cum, I would grunt and moan, and he would stop fingering my cunt.

After an hour of keeping both of us on the plateau of the edge of almost cumming but not yet, Fred said, " I'll cum now." I doubled my licking and sucking and nibbling of his cock and pumoed his shaft hard with my delicate hands. Soon he was arching his back and tensing his whole body. "Take my sperm!" He cried out as he came in my mouth. I took his cock out to spray his cum all over my face because Fred likes it. Then I looked at him as I showed him I swallowing his cum and licked my lips for cum several times. Then, without wiping the cum off my face, I leaned back on the sofa and started masturbatung myself. Fred whipped out his camera to video me. I grabbed Mr Blue and switched him on I and pumped my vagina with it, pressing the base against my clitoris, until I came with little moans and groans with grimacing for the benefit of Fred who likes to watch me masturbate and watch my face as I cum.

Sexual imprinting

Why do I like sex so much and why do I like abusive submissive rough sex with men who don't care for me? I figured it was because of all the porn vcds my father left behind after he deserted us for another woman. He didn't support us at all, and with my mum working two jobs, I was a latchkey child left to myself, and his legacy to me is a mind filled with the images of huge cocks pumping into lips and cunts and the women enjoying it. I feel what turns me on in sex is decided by the ideas that my parents and my upbringing when I was a child. And since I had practically no parental advice, all I had were the stash of porn videos, magazines, and blue books from my father. I was sexually imprinted at a vulnerable age by porn.

The good thing for me is that I actually enjoy doing what my lovers want from me, and I've had a very satisfying sex life as far as the sex is concerned. I actually hear the men comparing me favorably with their wives or girlfriends as I would do much more for them. After learning the ropes with my first boyfriend, I've had lots of compliments and very few complaints on my performance as a lover. In fact, I pay close attention to what my lovers want, and I'm always trying to get better at my bedroom techniques as well as acting provocatively. I'm try to get better at saying  what my lovers want to hear.

It is the time out of bed that is not good because I get attracted to men who just want to use me for sex and to feed their ego. I am sexually attracted to all the wrong men and I can't help it. I'm much more turned on by men who lust for me sexually and hunt me as a sexual prey, than by men who respect me too much and are content holding my hand. Even my husband Tom telling me he loves me during sex is sweet, but doesn't get me going. I get very wet when my man is pulling my hair and pumping me roughly from behind and asking me to "move your ass, you cunt!"after which I would gyrate my ass more.  I respect such a man more somehow, maybe because he doesn't need my love, and maybe I have an inferiority complex, feeling that because he is so high above me, I am not good enough to deserve his love anyway, I should be very honored just to have him being willing to fuck me. I remember once asking Fred, " do you love me Fred?" Inside his boutique, on our love sofa. We had closed the shop, and we were seated facing each other with my hand pumping his cock, and his
hand in my clit while we kissed. "I love the way you fuck" was his reply. "But do you love me as a person?" I asked. " I love the way you can completely surrender yourself to me when I'm screwing you" he said. " Do you love me when we aren't having sex?" I persisted. " I love you much more when my cock is inside you!" Fred teased. He could feel me getting wetter as he was finger fucking me, and knew I liked his answers. "Don't talk of love" he said, " I just like fucking your brains out." His answers made me so horny, I mounted him on the sofa and placed his hands on my breasts as I murmured, " yes, please fuck my brains out!" I was oozing fluid all over his groin and I had an womderfully intense orgasm. After that, Fred knew I like pure sex rather than love and that I really enjoyed his dirty talking during sex. It's terrible but for me, sex is much better with men who only want sex from me. I think subconsciously, I feel that I'm not good enough to be loved, and don't expect my lovers to love me. In fact if they respected me too much, maybe they weren't good enough for me. i get turned on by men who think of me as a bimbo to impress for an easy fuck.

Sometimes I just want to spend time together as a couple doing ordinary things but I don't get much of it after my first boyfriend John. It was sex and sex and sex until Tom came around. He liked watching movies and holding hands and even shopping with me. I didn't enjoy sex with him but until we planned to get married I was still getting some wild sex in the side. Sigh, I can't seem to get the best of both love and sex.

Park bench sex with stranger

We continued to stand close together like lovers with his arms on my waist and his groin pressed against my back, and my hands still pressed back against his thighs . After he came, he became soft but I was still burning with desire from two weeks of tittilation by Fred and now this, so I didn't pull away despite being in public. "Can you walk me home ?" I heard myself saying,"it's dark and dangerous and I'm afraid to walk through the park alone."  I turned my head and look at him as I said this. "Yes, sure, of course I will," he replied.  So when my stop came, I grabbed his hand and pulled him along. I didn't want to chat, I just wanted to finish off the adventure. We took the feeder bus and sat at the back together. I didn't talk, I put my hand round his neck and starting kissing him on the lips. We frenched until we reached the park. Actually,my house was one stop before the park, but I needed an excuse to walk through the park which was not well lit at night and very dark at certain places. I took his hand and led him straight to my favorite park bench. There were no lights overhead, and it was among the darkest spots in the park. It was at this very same special park bench where I
had lost my viriginity a decade ago, where I had led Randy, the taxi driver, for a revenge fuck, where

I first had sex with Fred etc.

This special place near my home makes me relaxed and helps me get into the mood for sex. If someone is a potential, i often bring him here and start there. We sat down side by side and I continued our kissing. He had one hand round my waist and one on my breast. I felt his cock, it was still soft but stirred a bit. I massaged hsi cock through his trousers. He put his hands under my blouse and removed my bra. He pulled my blouse up and starting kissing and sucking my breast and nipples whilst he kneaded the other nipple with his fingers. I arched my back with desire and moaned with pleasure. He got harder when he saw the glazed lust in my eyes. I pulled his shorts and underwear down and started rubbing his the shaft of his cock up and down. He was now erect and almost hard. I bent down next to him and starting licking and sucking the tip of his cock whilst I pumped his shaft up and down with my hand. I'm short, so he could reach around my butt, and started to finger fuck my very wet cunt. I sucked and pumped him until he was rock hard and ready.

He made me stop and sit up. He kissed me whilst his hand went between my legs and he played and rubbed my clitoris. Like every other man, he was too rough. I guess my clitoris is much more sensitive than other women's. I didn't say anything but I took his hand and guided his finger to my clitoris and showed him the delicate gentle rotary movements that I like. I let him kiss and masturbate me until I was almost coming. I was still pumping his shaft to keep it hard.

When I was ready, I stood up on my three inch heels, and sat down on his hard cock with my back to him. I put my manicured fingers on his bare thighs, and gyrating my ass slowly on the glans of penis, angled his cock smoothly into my cunt. I went down all the way to the hilt with a sigh of pleasure, and using my heeled legs and supported by my hands upon his thighs, I started to pump myself up and down the length of hsi cock. Standing until almost the full length is out and the sitting down all the way. He pinched one nipple with one hand and rubbed my clit with the other, so within five
minutes of vigorous strokes, I was ready to cum, but I wanted to prolong the pleasure so I stopped to change position. I turned around and knelt over him on the park bench with my arms over his shoulders and the sat down on his cock. He out his hands under my buttocks and help me lift off as well as massage my shapely ass at the same time. He kissed and sucked my nipples. It was so good, I started to moan and pump faster whilst I arched my back to push my breasts forwards towards his mouth. He started to take little bites of my flesh, and slap and pinch my buttocks. "Yes! That's nice" I whispered , so he started to bite and pinch me harder. The sensation of pain combined with the pleasure of the rubbing of his  thick hard cock along the rim and walls of my cunt, and the stretching and rubbing of my clitoris combined to give me an exquisite whole body pleasure sensation that resulted in a total and complete body wracking orgasm that went on for a few minutes. I couldn't help arching and moaning with pleasure.

After I came, he made me kneel on the bench with my elbows on the back of the bench whilst he stood up and fucked me from behind, doggy style until he came again. We sat down exhausted on the bench for several minutes before we started to cover up our nudity. He walked me back to the ground floor of my apartment but I didn't want him to come up. I was feeling very cheap and slutty and low class and shy. I thanked him for a most wonderful experience, and said I hope we could do it again. He passed me his card. He is a computer technician for both software and hardware.i told him I may need help with soft and hard problems, and whether I could use him. He said anytime......

                                   Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So when my husband Tom gently rubbed against my butt in bed an I started gyrating against his cock, I couldn't help thinking and reliving that most memorable and sextifying one night stand with a stranger on a train and in a park. I confess that I was partly fucking him again in my mind, and partly fucking Tom, as my mind switched between fucking two different men.

End.

Train sex

Continued from previous post...

Well, I didn't call the police. I just kept quiet and still, but with my heart was pounding excitedly. I let this strange man rub his cock up and down my ass. Maybe it's because I was so horny because of Fred or maybe because I'm just a slut who can't control herself.

The man, when he realized I wasn't going to resist, got bolder and his pelvic thrusts became harder and longer. I know I shouldn't but I started to feel aroused and couldn't deny that the feel of his body was pleasurable. I enjoyed the feel his hairy thighs rubbing against the back of my thighs. I slowly stopped arching my body away from him. I allowed the train to rock me against him and didn't resist. In fact, I pretended that I couldn't control the swaying and rocking of the train and allowed more movement against his cock. I slowly, imperceptibly, began to slight gyrate my hips a bit and stick my ass out a little. After a while, I think he knew he had me because when the train jerked and I stumbled  on my three inch heels, his hands came up to support me at my waist. But he didn't let go of my waist after I was stabilized. I flicked my hair over my eyes and turned my head back to him to see what he looked like and I looked up at him through my long lashes and smiled shyly , "Thank you."  "You're welcome" he said in a ddeep manly voice that got me thrilled. " It's difficult to stand steady on my high heels," I complained , wanting to hear the voice of the cock that was plying my ass. "It's my pleasure to support you." He replied as he pulledthe back of my skirt up a bit so my bare butt was in contact with his shorts. With his hands on my waist and hips, he could now support me and pull me into his cock. I stepped my legs apart and bent forward a bit to give him access, and he bent down a bit and came up under me so I could feel the tip of his cock against my cunt lips. I turned back again to face him as he ground away at me, "hi!"  I smiled . I just needed to see his face, I didn't just want to have a faceless fuck. He smiled at me and we locked eyes as he pumped me. He pulled his shorts down with one hand, while I draped my skirt over him to hide him. Now I could feel his bare cock against my cunt lips. It wasn't possible to enter me without angling until people noticed so after a few tries, he contented himself with rubbing my labia with his cock. I was soaking wet and couldn't act coy anymore so I put my hands down to feel the front of his thighs as he pumped me. I looked back often to smile at him, and kept eye contact with himwhen he finally came with hot gushes of semen all over my g string, my skirt and down the inside of my thighs. He had that grimace and tense look of pleasure that I like to see on the face of the man when he's cumming.

He pulled up his shorts but now he had his hand between us and he was rubbing my slit from behind although he couldn't reach my clitoris. " I am getting off at the next stop" he said sadly. "Oh! So soon" I slipped. I wondered why he had to get off at the next stop. Why couldn't we stay longer. " I get off in another three stops," I replied breathlessly as he was rubbing me to ecstasy. " I'll stay with you till the end then." he understood me. Many people got off at his stop, so he had to take his hand away from me quickly, but we still stood close together like lovers, with his hands on my waist and his softening cock against my butt....

To be continued 

What goes through your mind when you are having sex?

Ive just had sex with Tom, my husband, and I asked him."what are you thinking of when we are having sex?"  He replied, " nothing much, I don't think. I just feel and react." When I press him, he says, " I feel your soft smooth skin, i see your beautiful body, your breasts, your buttocks, yes, I feel the pleasurable sensation of your vagina tight around my cock. I like you holding on to my body and pulling me closer or deeper. I like the soft sounds you make. I especially like the feel of my semen as it gushes through my urethra when i ejaculate. I don't know what else you want." "What did you think of just now when we are having sex" He asks. "Oh nothing, just like you I guess. Feeling, seeing and hearing the sensations of sex." I lied, even though I did have an orgasm.

Tom is so healthy mentally. When he makes love with me, he's there with me, one hundred percent. He's so simple and so direct and focused on what he is doing. I'm so different. We were both lying on our sides in bed, cuddled up spoon fashion, with my back to his front. He was tired after a long day, but I was fresh and  I was hoping to get some action from him. I was wearing my thin nightie without any underwear. I lie to him that I do it to prevent thrush but sometimes I do it to seduce him. I wriggle my back towards him a few times as though adjusting to a more comfortable position. I was really just grinding my butt against his cock, which happily became erect and hard. He stirred, aroused, so I wriggled a few more times innocently. He began to thrust his cock up and down my butt cleft, and I began to gyrate my butt. I could feel his warmth through my thin nightie and his thin boxers. Soon I felt Tom lift my nightgown up and the sensation became much more pleasurable when. I could feel the heat and the rubbery texture of his cock directly in contact against the skin of my buttocks. He had pulled his boxers down to expose his cock.

The swinging up and down rhythm of his pelvic thrusts against my ass reminded me of a torrid train ride on the MRT (mass rapid transit or subway) many years ago......when my lover Fred was training me to express my sexuality completely. He would make me go without orgasms for several sex sessions until I was begging him for sexual release. I wasn't allowed to masturbate to release my urges during these training periods. He would order me to dress very sexily to work and display myself in either low cut blouses or short skirts.

When I was very young, I had watched a lot of porn, and one theme that got to me was anonymous sex on the Japanese trains and subways. The scenes were too daring to be real and I never thought they could happen, but somehow, I don't know why, I found them arousing. Maybe it's because I took
so many boring train journeys. Anyway, as Tom plowed into me, his rhythm made me recall about a sexual adventure that happened because Fred was deliberately leaving me sexually frustrated and making me wear revealing clothing. I was on a tightly packed train during rush hour and everyone
was crushed together. There was no way I could move away from a man who was forced into my
back. I was wearing a miniskirt of a very thin material and a g string. The man behind me must have been wearing shorts of a thin material too because I could feel his cock pressing against my ass. It was pointed downwards but the swinging and rocking of the train meant that i couldn't prevent my butt from rubbing his cock back and forth,  and side to side. As he got erect, the cock began to poke forward into me firmly but I coudnt move an inch away from him. For a moment, I felt his hand against my buttocks but then his hand move away. Now I could feel that he had pulled his cock upright. It must have been painful for him.

I could feel his cock very well. I could tell that it was quite large and very, very hard. And I could feel the heat. And it fitted right into the groove between my buttocks. I could smell his manly smell close in. A sweaty but not unpleasant smell. After a while, maybe because I made no attempt to move away, on top of the side to side , and the back and forth rocking of the train, i detected a slight but definite up and down movement. He was thrusting his cock against me! So shocking! How dare he? Surely everyone will notice? I looked around me left and right but no one was looking, I had a brief
glimpse at his face, he was ok looking, Chinese, and of average build. In that one second, with my head turned and my eyes looking back at him, I sized him up to be pleasant looking.

It's all Fred's fault for having sex with me so many times the last fortnight without allowing me to cum, that I was highly receptive to this molestation. In another situation, I might well have reported this man to the police. And Fred's fault for making me wear such provocative clothes so as to attract
Unwanted  attention.......

To be continued..

Sublimating my sexual energy into something else

ive been trying to get rid of my sex addiction by doing meditation but I realize practicing mind control is only one half of the solution but not enough. I've for to find another outlet for the energy inside me that's at the moment expressing itself as sexual desire. This comes from the development over many, many years of a deeply satisfying sexual relationship with Fred in which I explored my wildest sexual fantasies and found out my true sexual nature. However, I'm now a married woman with a baby, and I have to move on to the next phase of my life. The other half of the solution is to channel and divert my inner energies into something else. I wasn't as horny when I was working a full time job and even less when the baby came, but now that I'm a full time housewife, I'm completely relaxed and  well rested and my mind to turns naturally to sex. I look at the men I meet each day and occasionally I get attracted. If they are charming and witty, who knows what will happen. The Devil finds work for idle hands they say. He also finds cocks for idle cunts. I have to be on my guard to prevent the situation going out of my self control like with my yoga instructor.

Maybe I should go back to work. Or do something from home which is more flexible and suitable for a mother. I'm looking at all these online work from home schemes to see if I earn something doing online work from home. With baby asleep half the day, and with a maid doing all the housework, I've lots of free time and my mind will drift. I'm now going through all the work at home internet sites to see what I can do......

Meditation to control my sex addiction

Hi! It's been two whole weeks and I've been faithful to Tom. I've not masturbated at all and during the one time I had sex with Tom, I used my mind control to stop my sexual fantasies, and focus on Tom and on the physical details of our sex. It wasn't great sex and I didnt cum but I managed to keep my mind 95% free of thoughts of Fred or Ariff or Kumar or starhub technicians etc.

I do my yoga at home sometimes with the help of youtube and a few times a week I jog to the neighborhood park and do some exercises before returning home. This seems to help me let off steam and excess energy that met be channeled into lusty thoughts. I bring baby out for a walk every day and the walks are longer and I talk to him non stop.

 I mediate.  When Tim is asleep, I sit cross legged and with my hands on the knees in a lotus position, and I focus on my breathing. I count my breaths to a hundred and keep my mind as blank as I can. Whenever any thoughts come into my mind, I stop it and refocus on my breathing. I can't do this lying down as I will fall asleep and I think people who suffer from insomnia should try this. It's not easy to keep my mind blank and if I lapse it will be several minutes before I realize I have been thinking. I'm developing a mental muscle to stop thinking of things I don't want to think about. When I surf the net, I stop myself from straying into sex and porn sites as I will not be able to control myself.

Most of all, I stopped masturbating. If I masturbate, I will think of myself fucking somebody I know in a certain place. If the situation arises, this increases my chance of wanting to really have sex with them. All my masturbation will lead eventually to a sexual tryst with somebody, I know. It won't happen because I look for it, but if someone attractive comes at me, especially someone form my past, I won't be able to resist and I'll be easily seduced. The happiness of three people, me, My husband Tom, and baby Tim will be gone.

If I succeed , I will not be posting here again. Writing this blog has helped me express my sexual frustrations and relieve them, but it's not as good or as effective as completely suppressing my sexuality. Recalling my old sexual trysts only makes me want to do it again.

If I manage to break free from the chains of my sex crazed body, I will still come back and post to say it and my blog will continue without much sex in it.

Wish me luck!

Yoga to control my sexual desire part 2

I've been trying to control my sexual desires by jogging and yoga but was unfortunate to run I to the arms of a seductive yoga instructor. Our last lesson together just erupted my sex hormones. Please see part 1.

I can do a split but my arms can't support me in midair. So he made me sit facing him while I did my split then put my arms behind my back to push up. I couldn't do it so he sat under me with his hands under my buttocks and lifted me up and then placed me on his crotch. Through hsi trousers I could feel the rubbery tip of his cock fitting into my wide open vulva. As I was only wearing shorts and a g string, I was being stimulated sexually as he lifted me up and down into his cock. I could only stare into his eyes with lust and he was staring into mine greedily too. After that he made me sit with my back to him. I did a split again and he held my thighs up whilst he put my hands behind me around his neck. Again another few minutes of up and down upon his cock which was thrusting up through his trousers with a wet spot made by his semen and my cunt secretions. He was very strong and could support my weight. A thought flashed through my mind what wonderful sex I could have with him and so many exciting new yoga positions I've never tried.

By now I was all putty in his hands and he realized that I had given myself to him completely. So his hands were constantly touching my breasts with hardly anypretence at any positions and i was letting him do as he pleased. I was saying no, no, don't do this or that , I'm married, but I  still let his have his way with me, woth only token resistance. We were almost fucking with clothes on in the yoga room and completely drenched with sweat. I arched with my belly facing the ceiling and my arms and legs on the floor, but with my back up. He would rub my belly and occasionally go under my shorts towards my vulva until I protested, but he kept doing it again and again and getting closer and closer till he reached my clitoris. I was defenceess in that position. He would rub my buttocks every now and then pretending to support my body . Then the wheelbarrow where my legs gripped his waist while I Supported myself with my hands. He would grab my hips and press me against his crotch. We also did the reverse wheel barrow where I was facing the ceiling and arched back so I can touch the floor with my hands, while he held my buttocks against his crotch and he would gyrate a bit and grind his cock into my vulva.

We stopped when someone from the next lesson entered the room. I was arched backwards on my knees facing the ceiling with my hands backwards trying to hold my ankles and he was kneeling astride in front of my upside down face lifting my back up so I could see and smell his balls and cock at close range in front of my eyes. We disengaged ourselves as fast as we could but we were caught in the act except we were fully clothed. The woman stared at me probably with disapproval but luckily She wasn't someone I knew.

I came to my mind and was suddenly very embarassed and very guilty. How could I have allowed myself into such a compromising position. I rushed home flustered but when I was bathing, the images of what we had done came flooding back to means got me all wet again. I rushed out of the shower, and took my dildo vibrator out and sucked it, pretending it was Kumar's cook. Then I pumped my cunt with it all the while thinking of Kumar's face and body as he thrusted and pumped me to a shattering orgasm.

Yoga instead of getting rid of my lust, had sunk me even lower into the depths of a depravity my husband cannot accept. I didn't sign up for the next course even though Kumar called me and invited me to. He offered personal home lessons but I said I was keen but busy and  will call him back when I was free. He called a few times and offered free trial home lessons but I declined. However, I am still masturbating thinking of his body and his face. That was a close call.

After that incident, I was so horny, with no release that I descended into having internet messenger sex. I had a Internet sex live chat by messenger email with a young malay man doing NS who emailed dirty to me and sent me revealing photos. I emailed dirty to him too saying that I must do my fair share of NS and the only thing I could do as a weak lady was to service the men to encourage them to defend Singapore. I love seeing him in uniform even though he was younger than me by more than a decade. He showed me his cum and I masturbated to his dirty thoughts till I came too. I'm too embarassed to respond to hi again.

I've messaged dirty thoughts to another Internet male friend and mastturbated after reading his emails but never live before. After a few times, he wants to have a Skype sex session with me but I know that if I do it live with him and he has a deep male voice, I would end him in bed with him so I also declined.

Now I do meditation at least two times a day to keep my mind free of sex. I try not to masturbate because it although it brings sexual release, it just escalates my desire in the long run instead of
satisfying it. Masturbation is addictive for me and will lead to adultery and illicit sex. The idea of meditation is to exercise and strengthen  my ability not to think about something. It's working but I have relapses. Maybe if I go back to work, or if I let the Filipino maid go, I would be too busy working or doing housework to think about sex. The devil finds cocks for idle cunts.