Sex with my boss. Part 7

I looked at my boss as he held me with both hands around my waist and thought, "my bus may not come for many years, and i might still board the wrong bus, so I might as well enjoy the company I get whilst at the bus stop." So I said breathlessly,"I am feeling lonely at the bus stop tonight."

He kissed me again, this time tenderly and not lustily. He first kissed the tears that had rolled down my face and then my cheeks and my neck and gave me little nibbles on my neck. I raised my chin to let him give me love bites on my neck. The roughness of his moustache and the stubble of his chin against my face was stimulating. When his kisses came back to my lips, I opened my mouth and surrendered to his probing tongue. He explored my mouth and lips with his tongue and then started playing and teasing my tongue. Our tongues met in my mouth in a little dance as we swirled them around each other or he would vibrate the tip horizontally or vertically against mine. I was intrigued by his imaginative tongue play and followed his lead by doing the same back to him. I put my arms around his neck as we got engrossed and he rubbed his warm hands up and down my bare back.  My head was spinning and my heart was pounding with excitement. He was so good! After several long minutes, we stopped to catch our breath and stared at each other close up. I had lost all my lipstick and both our lips were smeared with it.  "You have such sweet soft lips,"he said,"I couldkiss you all night." And we started on our tongue play again, for a very long time, teasing, fighting, advancing , retreating, until I could read the language of his tongue. Sometimes he was commanding and in charge, sometimes he was punishing me as when he bit on my tongue and won't let go, sometimes he was playing catch, chasing my tongue until he caught me..Ive never experienced kissing like this with any one else, even to this day. One of his hands slipped under my halterneck ( I couldn't wear any bra with such a low back) and started circling,rubbing and pinching my nipple. I put my hands on his chest to enjoy the feel of his hard chest muscles. The sensation from my nipple and my lips were so exquisite, I came and arched my back towards him as I came with waves of pleasure all over my body.  I had just my first orgasm from kissing alone!

" that's nice," I said as I relaxed, very satisfied, and leaned against his chest, with one hand on his chest and one hand around his waist.  listening to the pounding of his heart. He was just as excited as I was. He put his arm around my shoulder to cuddle me. I am usually not a multi orgasmic woman and orgasms usually put me to sleep. However, I looked down at his crotch. He was still sporting a very hard erection that stuck up against his trousers, but I was sleepy and dozed off against his comfortable warm chest. When I awoke, his erection was gone. "Sorry," I smiled, " orgasms have this effect on me." "Then you shan't have any," he teased, " not until I've come first."

He sent me home. "Come up for a while?" He agreed. It was way past midnight, and I unlocked the door very quietly. The house was dark. Both my mother and my brother were sleeping in their rooms. I took his hand and led him to my bedroom and shut and bolted the door quietly. i turned on the night light. My room was small with only a single bed and no space for a sofa so Fred sat in the bed. "Get comfortable." I said, and I helped him remove his tux and trousers and hung them in my wardrobe. He was only in his Calvin Klein Gstring underwear. He had a very muscular body and six pack abs and his buttocks were powerful and muscular. I liked his body. I sneaked to the kitchen to get water for us. I removed my dress and revealed myself to him topless, in my black Gstring. He eyed my body up  and down and had an instant erection which stuck out the top of his briefs. I wasn't horny anymore but I liked looking at his hot bod. He stood up and pulled me against him with his arms around my waist. I felt his hairy thighs rub against my soft smooth thighs. My face came up against his chin. I put my arms around him and pressed my breasts and nipples against his hard hairy chest. I like the feel of muscle and of hair rubbing my nipples. His very had and large erection rubbed against my lower belly.  I started to feel wet between my legs again. He put his hands on my buttocks and
grabbed them in his large strong hands and began massaging them and pressing me against his cock. I
put my arms around his neck " Finally, I get to enjoy your soft body which I have been lusting for, for
many years," he said. " Really, since so long?" " Yes, since the first day I intervuewed you for the job, I've wanted to fuck you, but you had a boyfriend then. Now is my chance." " what do you like about me?" I fished for compliments, " you are my type, the kind that looks and behaves so sweet and innocent socially but once you get them into bed, surrenders themselves to unihibited sex." I blushed. I am like that. I'm cold but once I've let down my defenses, I'm totally submissive.   " I like your face,
your long straight soft hair, your sweet smile with cute dimples, your perfect shoulders , your long
slender legs with a pert butt that sticks out that I always want to caress..." He was making me
desirous of sex again

He stepped out of his underwear. I took a deep breath,"your cock is so big!"he was the biggest I had till then. John had an average penises of maybe five to five and half inches but Ricky was slightly thicker.  Fred's penis was longer and thicker. Maybe six and a half but that extra inch and girth made it look very meaty and feel much bigger. I've since had bigger cocks but for my small petite fame and cunt, Fred was the biggest I could enjoy comfortably. I've later had good sex with men with three to four inch cocks but I like the size because it excites me visually more than anything else. It also brings up the submissive in me and that excites me. I want to be impressed and conquered and a large cock does that well. I couldn't take my eyes off his cock, it was circumcised and the head was bulbous and purplish with blood. Large thick engorged veins wounds it's way around the shaft and gave it a knobby feel and look. " you like it don't you," he noticed my captivated gaze, you will like what it can do to you even more" he boasted. I normally hate arrogance socially, but once I have surrendered myself to be taken sexually, I find this kind of talk sexually exciting. " I'm afraid, it's so powerful, be gentle please." I whimpered. He grabbed my buttocks again and used my soft belly to massage his prick.  It felt so hot, hard and thick against me.  I ran my hands over his broad shoulders and squeezed his muscles there, over his back, and then back to my fave part , his broad chest muscles.

He put his hands over my buttocks and pulled them apart and reached to my vulva with the tips of his fingers.  He stroked my labial lips back and forth with both hands until I was completely lubraicated and wet. Then he raised one of my thighs with his arm and placed my foot on the bed. he bent down and positioned his cock against my vulva. He couldn't slip in but he gyrated his hips and screwed the head of his penis round and round and his glans slowly stretched and worked its way deeper into me. The sensation as  he stretched my labia was slightly tight at first but slowly the tightness translated  into greater pleasure than with thinner cocks as I slowly stretched to accommodate him. There was more sensation with him then with John or Ricky because of his girth. It wide cock that gives pleasure more than a a long cock because most of my nerves at the opening of my vagina.i liked the
way he swung left and right and round and round to penetrate me. When he was half way in, he took my other thigh and lifted it onto the bed behind him so he was standing on the floor but I was supported by his hands on my buttocks and my feet on the bed. as he let go of my buttocks, I slowly sank onto his cock deeper and deeper until I was flush with his balls. He was deeper in me than any man had ever gone and the feeling of fullness was a real turn on. .Many women say theydon't care about the size of the cock it's true but I liked the feeling of being fully stretched and Pierced deeply ( but not any deeper which would be uncomfortable. I think any bigger would be too painful for a small woman like me). " mmm," I moaned very quietly with pleasure, " you fill me so much more completely than John."' He boasted,"after I'm done stretching you, you will be custom made to fit my cock and be too loose for John or Ricky. " that statement got my juices flowing and I held on to his neck to lift myself up so I could pump myself down on him. He helped me by lifting my buttocks up and down. I could feel the ridges of hsi knobby cock stretching my vaginal ring tightly. "Yes I like your bigger cock, and john and Ricky won't do for me anymore after you've fucked me," I whispered.
I was very wet and slippery now, and Fred was pumping me with strong jerks. He put his hands under my knees and lifte me off my feet completely so I sank even more deeply onto his penis which
supported my wweight. He walked around the room as I tried to use my weak arms to pump  my
body in rhythm to his pelvic thrusts. Then he sat down on my dressing table stool and I planted my
feet on the floor. Now I coukd stand up and down to pump on his cock whilst I put my hands on his shoulders. His hands were free to grab my breasts and nipples and enjoy them while I was doing this or to grab my buttocks and help me lift up. Because his cock was longer , we could do longer strokes without slipping out accidentally and fuck more violently. He started kissing my nipples and nibbling them  and the position was most enjoyable.

Then he turned me around to face the mirror so I was seated with my back to him and he could rub my clitoriswith one hand and stroked a breast with the other hand  .  I could see my own body reflected in the mirror and this really really made me wet. "How do you want it? " He asked, " gentle or rough?" "Rough" I said shyly. And  then he started pinching and grabbing my breast, and talking dirty,"gyrate your your ass, you slut," he ordered so I began doing circles with my buttocks  as I came down on his cock.

To be continued.....

Sex with my boss. Part 6

Fred was transformed from a sexual predator to an object of my desire. He wasn't a horny married man lusting after young girls to me anymore. He represented a new world for me. A world of beauty, excitement, elegance, filled with well dressed people of wit and charm, enjoying their existence. It was not like my sordid world of dreary work, long hours, little leisure time, careful budgeting,  which was filled with people focused on the mundane necessities of life  and not filled with people living  their dreams and relishing life. I love my family and my gang of girl friends and they will always be special for me. But otherwise I had felt my world was dull boring and uninspiring. Fred was a door into a breathtaking world of exciting people and fun living. I wanted and lusted for this world very much and Fred was inviting me into it. I regretted having rejected him and felt afraid that he would not give me another chance again.

"How about me?" Fred was saying and all these thoughts went through my mind, subconsciously,as I looked at him. I couldn't answer Fred with my usual insulting light hearted jests. I blushed badly, my heart beat wildly, I was struck dumb, and I stared helplessly at him wondering what to say. I could very well say, "I want you" which was I was feeling right then for that would be so embarrassing and improper in public, but I really wanted him and I didn't want to reject him any more, afraid that I might not get another chance, so I was stuck in between for several tense agonizing seconds before I said breathlessly, " I like you" and after that I immediately looked away quickly and turned my head right down gazing down at my food and buried my hands under my thighs and tried to disappear inside my body because it was so so embarassing and humiliating and I felt everybody at the table must have heard me.

"Well, thanks! " Fred said pleasantly surprised, " I like you too! And let's drink to that!" I smiled and quietly raised my glass to his. "To the beginning of a beautiful friendship" he toasted and I nodded in reply. After that, the evening was spent in a wonderful reverie of small talk about the food, the performances, the people and Fred was very warm and chatty. I asked a lot of questions and he was happy to answer them with his usual funny twist on things. There was dancing to fast music and Fred asked me out. He led me through rock and roll and though I didn't know the dance it didn't matter. I just tried to follow him and the rhythm and it was nice to be in his arms as he twirled me round and round again.

The evening had been magic so I was sad when they announced the end of the evening. After all the goodbyes had been said, Fred took me by the hand as we walked out. His hand was warm and firm and it felt very natural to hold it. I was very proud to enter his Ferrari when the valet drove it to the front of the hotel. Fred drove slowly back because I told him I wanted  to chat. When we got near my home, I didn't want the evening to end so I suggested going to the park nearby. We took a leisurely walk and when he put his hand around my waist, I didn't resist. I led him to the same bench where I had lost my virginity to John my first and where I had flirted with Ricky, a taxi driver with whom I had a one night stand. What's going to happen this time, I thought as we sat down.

He sat very close to me with his thigh against mine and didn't let go of my hand. I could feel the heat of his muscular thigh through his trousers. He put his arm around me and on my bare shoulders. The feeling of his hand grabbing my shoulder and rubbing it was nice. I looked into his eyes and face at close range. He had a strong masculine jaw with bushy eyebrows and a well trimmed thick moustache. A manly face. I like a real man more than a sensitive new age guy. He had broad muscular shoulders and a trim waist. He was a hard mans man and I felt soft and feminine  in reaction to him.

He smiled and asked, "earlier this evening you said you like me, how do you like me?"  This
was embarassing, "just like lor, dont need to have a reason." And I looked down at my manicured
fingers. He put his hand on my chin and lifted it so I had to face him in the eye, " I really want to know what it is about me that you like,"he asked friendly teasing manner. I couldn't turn my face away with his hand there so I looked down as I replied, "well, tonight you really impressed me." He persisted,"thanks but what is it in particular about me that you  really like?" He wouldn't give up till I surrendered and said ," mmm, you looked really dashing tonight, and what do they say? The epitome of sartorial elegance."  He laughed," I like it that you are always surprising me with your wit and your words, its highly unusual for a salesgirl in a boutique. you are quite stimulating company." His compliment felt reassuring, but it was also true that  "you read that in the historical romance novels that ladies like." He kept pushing and pleading me to tell him what I liked about him so in the end I gave up and confessed  shyly, "you were just like the handsome hero in one of the romances, you
were so smooth and witty, and I was so proud to step in and out of that borrowed Ferrari as your
companion, in public." I continued, looking down again, " I was quite excited by the way you handled the Ferrari, it's so manly."

 "That's nice, I like to impress my proud cold secretary," he chuckled,  " and you really looked ravishing tonight too, that's why Im going to ravish you tonight." " no you are not!," I spoke without my usual conviction this time, you are a buaya ( Malay name for crocodile but also means sexual predator) and I'm not going to let it happen. You just want to use me for your sexual pleasure. I'm not going to be your sex toy". "What's wrong with pleasure?" He countered, I use you for my sexual pleasure, but you re also getting pleasured. As long as you enjoy it's well, there's nothing wrong." He had turned me around to face him squarely with one hand and held my chin up with the other so I couldn't break my gaze with him, but had to stare helplessly into his eyes. "Well, if you are single, I don't mind being your sex toy tonight, but you are married...." I protested too weakly. He continued, "so you rather have sex with a Casanova who is single but doesn't care for you than to have sex with a married man who respects you and likes you?" " You really like me?" I said hopefully, "I thought
you said it was lust." "Well, I said ninety percent lust and ten percent love, but you want me to be

honest right? It's the same with all men, we are designed for pleasure and procreation. You shouldn't hold it against me for being frank. And that ten percent is true honest complete love! Sometimes you really get to me. I wished I had married you instead of my wife. I wished you had been born earlier and I had met you first. I would definitely have courted you and wanted you to be my steady." I liked what he said very much "me too," I said, " If only we could have....." I was stopped mid sentence when put his hand behind my head and pulled me towards him, kissing me passionately on my highly glossed lips, I put my hands on his chest to push him away weakly but failed. His chest was hard and muscular. His perfume was musky and mixed with a slight sweaty body odor that was sexually stimulating. I kept pushing him away weakly but his strong muscular arms encircled me in an iron grip. His lips massaged and brushed and nibbled on mine. His tongue licked my lips all over and
 probed to enter my mouth but I held my lips tightly pursed together. He was quite a hunk and I
wanted him but it was a bit degrading and humiliating to be taken so easily.

He paused and said, "you might be at the bus stop of your life for a very long time, waiting for the right bus(man) to come along, I'll keep you company and make you happy while you wait. For all you know, the wait could be a very pleasant experience, even better than the bus ride." " I'm afraid that I'll miss my bus," I said," if I am distracted and not watching for the bus. And what if my bus comes but I can't bear to leave? Will you stay at the bus stop with me forever? How about all the lonely times when I'm alone at the bus stop?" " I'll help you look out. I'll even tell you which bus to take. I'll stay with you till very late but I really can't get on the bus with you." He had his hands around my waist and he was looking at me intently and earnestly. A horrible and selfish thought flashed through my mind that I might be able to make him love me enough to leave his wife and kids for me. Home wrecker! It was Saturday night. I had no great eligible man to call. I could go home or I could stay with this charming man who wanted me. What would you have done? Don't judge me so
easily. "Leave everything behind and be free," I said, "come on the bus with me and we will explore

the world together." "I can't, it's not called freedom if you  desert the people who need you very

much. Not just my kids whom I love very much, nor my wife even though we aren't talking, we have gone through so many years together, and she would go to pieces if I leave her."


So there we are again, as in the dressing room in the boutique, almost havng sex but not aborted at the last minute becuas he was married. But tonight was different. I had had a wonderful magical night, he had been such a gentleman. We were dressed like a prince and princess. The music of the night was still reverberating in my ears and the rush of speeding in a Ferrari was in my blood. I wanted a nice ending to the night........

To be continued....

Sex with my boss. Part 5

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Sex with my boss. Part 4.

After that memorable dinner, it was clear that my boss and I weren't going to have an affair, and shouldn't have one. However, what do you expect when you put an attractive healthy man and a good looking healthy woman alone together, in the same shop, both with not much else to do? The business was autopilot for him except for the crucial business trips where he had to decide what to buy to stock his shops. Otherwise, he had left the checking of accounts of the different shops to me. He spent much more time at my branch at the Hilton compared to the others, even though it was the branch with the least business. It was quite quiet most of the time as the clothes at the Hyatt were the finest haute couture and expensive. So I quite looked forward to him coming to the shop to liven up the day and for some company. We had sort of come to an understanding after that dinner I described in the last post that we would just be good friends but sometimes he would engage in a bit of flirting which I don't really mind.

He would start by complimenting my looks or my dressing, and if I didnt discourage him, he would express his desire for me in a half serious half joking manner. "Good morning! Beautiful!, or good morning sexy, or good day! heart stopper!" He would greet me, "how can I make you happy today?, I would do anything to make you smile, ah there, you are smiling already!" If I'm wearing heels and a skirt, he would make a show of eyeing them and say, "woman, thou art temptation!" Or if I'm wearing perfume, he'll take a deep breath and sniff the air and exclaim, " what a wonderful smell a woman's as!  It would be heaven to get you in my arms," etc. I'll usually shrug it off with a laugh, or a retort like ' go away, or get lost, get out of here, or  stop it!"

Sometimes I'll bait him a little before putting him down, just for the fun of flirting. " one day I'll get you in my bed" he proclaims, " and what will you do to me when I'm finally in your bed?" I'll challenge. "I'll start very slowly from the top downwards, and by the time I get there, you'll be begging me not to stop!" He boasted. "In your dreams! Or go to Geylang (red light district) I'll retort. It soon became a game I couldn't resist. In this game of cock teasing, I would get him worked up and then douse him with cold water. I started to let him talk further like asking, " and what would you do when you get down there?"  He had no shortage of different replies like," I'll kiss and lick you all over your thighs and finally start licking your clitoris until you are squirming with pleasure." "You'll probably only make me laugh tickling me with your moustache (I like mustaches beards and chest hair)" I'll put him down and turn away, but once I asked, a bit breathlessly, "and what will you do after I'm squirming with pleasure?" " I'll pierce your soft belly and thighs with my hard cock and pump you like a bitch in heat. " I blushed, the image aroused me and I couldn't help but stutter, " no you w w won't." "Yes I will"' he relentlessly continued, "I'll grab your breasts and your buttocks and make them mine!" "I won't let you!" " Yes you will, you will also go down on your knees and suck my cock with those lovely lips until I cum in your face and mouth." "You can't force me!" I protested. " yes I can, I'm much stronger than you, and I'll do it now!" He reached for me across the counter but I screamed andI dashed between the rows of clothes. He tried to catch me but I ran round and round the rack but somehow made the mistake of rushing into the fitting room instead of out the shop door.

Trapped, I turned to face him. He grabbed me by the waist and tried to kiss me. I pushed against his chest with both my arms to push him away but he was too strong. He forced his lips against mine. His tongue searched to pry open my lips but I forced them close. His arms felt  very strong, and he had a muscular chest, and he had a pleasant smell, but what was I thnking! I'm being molested. I struggled to push him away again, but he was so strong, he yanked one sphagetti strap off my shoulder and pulled my bra down and got hand on my breast. He started caressing my breast and nipple. "You can't do this, this is rape!" I protested. "Not when you want it yourself" he breathed heavily and pulled the other sphagetti strap off my shoulders until both my breasts were exposed.i could feel his erection grinding against my thigh while  he continued to nibble and lick my lips. He was giving my breasts a  lot of attention and squeezing my nipples. That gave a pulse of pleasure through my body. I struggled  to push him away but he was so strong and he used his body weight to press me against the wall. His chest felt good against my hands but this was so degrading, I was starting to enjoy the sensations of his lips and his rough mustache  and beard against my lips and cheek.  "No!" I protested more against my body's reaction than to his assault but this word made my mouth open and allowed hsi tongue to penetrate into my mouth where it started to play with my tongue. My nipples are very sensitive and waves of pleasure were coming from them. They are my weak point. "We are supposed to just be friends ," I mumbled as we continued to kiss. "But we were meant to be lovers," he replied. "Please don't force me, what we are doing is not right."I  slurred, but continued kissing him, I started to respond by moving my tongue a bit to go around the tip of hsi tongue. My body had gone soft and one of his hands left my tender swollen breasts and started to cup and massage my buttock under my skirt. "Please let me go, you are the wrong person for me," I pleaded but my tongue was now swirling in full cooperation with his, and I relished the feel of his hard hairy face against me, and his lips pressed against mine. He moved to my side and put his hand between my thighs which I spread apart to allow him to rub my slit. He pulled my skirt and panties down and slid his fingers up and down my very wet slit. He didn't stop kissing me but looking sideways. I could see us in the mirror. He started finger fucking me and I could see my belly responding by thrusting back and forth against his fingers. He found my clitoris and the pleasure waves made me arch my back against him. I wanted him inside me, but there was still something not quite perfect, something hollow inside me. "Fred?" I stopped kissing him and looked straight into his eyes, " you and me, is it love or is it lust?" "Both," he replied and continued giving me wonderful sensations as he stroked my clit. "How much is love and how much is lust? " I asked .Fred paused, " I like you a lot, but I also want to fuck you a lot." " which is more?" I insisted. "Well, you are so pretty, I won't be honest if I said I didn't want to have sex with you." "So you want me more as a sexual partner?" "Yes" he said. "How many percent?,I asked. "Two of his fingers were finger fucking my vagina from behind whilst his other hand continued their wonderful job on my clit. "90%lust and 10%love," he said. Tears started to form in my eyes,  I wouldn't have given him a score, for me love becomes lust and lust becomes love, it's part of the same thing and not differentiated, unlike men who can separate sex from love very well. "So would you leave your kids for me?" "No." "Would you leave your wife for me?" "No". "Will you marry me?" "No." I just want your body for my pleasure and you to play with," he said, "and you can use me too in the same way, until your Mr Right comes along."I didn't like that because it's not a fair game between men and women. I stiffened up and he stopped. He wiped my tears with his hand. I could smell the strong smell of my cunt on hsi fingers. "Will you spend the weekends with me?" I asked. "I can't, my family will find out." He apologised. "But I'll be there for you only till you find another boyfriend. Then you won't want me anymore and I'll go back to being alone again. Remember? I'm your companion at the bus stop till your bus comes."

To be continued....

Letter from reader

Thanks for following and encouraging. 

I'll keep on writing if there are people interested. 

My stories are only semi autobiographical as I am trying very hard to remain anonymous. To protect myself, I've changed and distorted the characters and place beyond recognition but the essence remains the same. This anonymity allows to me to be completely frank about my sexual self. 

I'm recounting the love and sex life of one Singapore woman and I hope it is useful to both other men and women, as well as entertaining at the same time. It's so long ago but if you like the hot sex part, I'll try to go more into the details more often. There are little adventures that are not relevant to my main story which I can try to recall and flesh out.  

Once again, I write because I feel I can't be my full real sexual self in Singapore, even in front of my own husband although he treats me very well. He's very conservative but still I am very happy, having finally found my almost perfect man in Singapore. I hope I can help people in Singapore in some way, in their love and sex lives, just by telling my experiences as frankly as I can. 

I'm just a little bit disappointed that I can't develop sex as fully with my husband as I would like, so I am writing about my sexual past, and possibly some future fantasies, as a form of wish fulfillment and sexual release. Please don't condemn me. I've every intention of being faithful in action now that I'm married, but my mind is still restless and seeks an outlet.

Sent from my iPad

On May 21, 2015, at 8:53 AM, Anonymous <noreply-comment@blogger.com> wrote:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Sex with my boss. Part 3. A memorable dinner.":

Is there gonna be hot sex? Like ur earlier posts, those were really good, n honest



Posted by Anonymous to  sex and love in Singapore at May 21, 2015 at 8:53 AM

Sex with my boss. Part 3. A memorable dinner.

Breaking up with John, my first boyfriend, made me go into the arms of my married boss, Fred, on the rebound. We had been working together for three years, but got much closer after my breakup. We liked each other's company and began to lunch and even dine together. We became good pals. He was always complimenting me and flirting with me but I always rejected him because he was married although I found him very eligible. Eventually, over a dinner, which I described in the last post, we discussed sex, and he cheekily said that one night in bed with me would be heaven....

"Life is one long bus journey," he said,"and John just dropped you off at the bus stop, you do not know when your next bus is coming again. Let me keep you company till the right bus with your name on it arrives again. It might be tomorrow, it might be years. It might be a very long time. Meanwhile, you've met a fellow traveller on the bus stop, me. Yes I'm married, but my bus wasn't going where I wanted to, so I also got off. I've kids so I can't take your bus, I've got to get on my lousy bus again. Meanwhile, we are two lonely people waiting at the bus stop. We talk and become friends. Why can't we make each other happy until your bus arrives? Life is short. The time we spend at bus stops can be very long and it is just as precious time as that we spend on the bus. Why can't we make each other happy?" Thats Fred, the philosopher and agnostic. No absolute values. "That sounds reasonable and right,  yet it feels as though something is slightly wrong about it," I said, " maybe it's your betrayal of your wife's friendship, maybe I might miss my bus if I'm distracted when the right bus came,  maybe I might just get stuck at the bus stop for the rest of my life, unable to leave, or maybe I might end up hoping against all odds that I can persuade you to leave your kids and hop onto the bus with me?"

"But what if I got my wife's permission?" Fred said,"I know it's unlikely but what if my wife doesn't care, or she also has her own lover but we decide to stay together for the child's sake?" "Then why don't you divorce but agree to bring up the children together? " I asked. "You could still stay together in the same house to keep the kids happy, but then you are free to find your happiness and so is she' so everyone's happy. You could maybe spend three nights away, and she spends three nights away, and once a week, the kids get both parents together. It's better than fighting at home in front of the kids. I know. I've seen my father and my mother divorce and its not pretty. It's better to split up whilst you still can remain friends. I'm not promising anything, but that will definitely give you a better start than now. Agree? Oh, but if you do divorce her, I cannot guarantee that I will definitely like you, you need to divorce just to have a chance with me, or anyone who is serious. And you also can't blame the divorce on me as the third party, it must be because you have tried hard but the two of you decide you rather be alone than to be together."

"That's difficult," Fred sighed, "my wife is very dissatisfied with me but she doesn't want to let me go. She will use the kids happiness to blackmail me. She's done it before, telling my kids we are divorcing, and asking my kids to choose between her and me. If she is so unhappy, but she cannot imagine another life without having someone else first. She will be devastated. She needs me just like the kids. She will go to pieces. Her father has a mental illness. It might be hereditary.  I'm stuck in my misery till the kids are grown up and even then, she will be lonely. It's not easy for her to make new friends the way I do. She's proud and angry and yet weak. I just have to live for the happiness of the three of them. I can't be so selfish. I've got this one life, and it's pretty much all decided for me. Choose your husband carefully. Don't have kids till you are very sure. Don't be like me." There was a long silence......."Sometimes I feel like hiring a social escort to seduce her to give me a divorce but then how will she feel when that guy dumps her? I can't do it."

I was touched. I said tenderly, " Actually you still love your wife , (more than John loved me)  how come she can't appreciate your love? You should try to patch up or go for counseling ." Fred shook his head," she's too proud to go for counseling, I've asked before. I'm sad thinking about it. It's getting late, so let me send you home." He was quiet and played sentimental oldies on the way north to my house.

To be continued......

Sex with my boss, how it started. Part 2

Over these lunches and dinners we shared our work and our life. Fred was good at telling and always made me laugh. He had a inexhaustible supply of jokes. He grumbled about his wife and I grumbled about my ex. He found me more open to talking about anything under the sun, and more curious than most girls he knew. Your English is amazing for a shop girl, he said, after he read a letter I wrote for him to the estate management committee regarding the persistent foul smell from one of the sinks in the Far East Plaza branch. Many showgirls speak decent english but you write like a graduate. What happened to you in school? He had so many things to tell. What life is like, how the country runs, his business and joint venture colleagues. I could listen to him all day. Weekends, I'll tell my Gang of Four girls all about him. I quoted him so much, they could see I was very taken with him. I was the only one who didn't see where all this was headed. The signs were all there, the lift in my heart when he turned up, the hope whenever the phone rang, and my attention to my appearance again, dressing up when I knew he would be coming. I left a pair of three inch heels in the shop to wear whenever he came. I wore the rose perfume that he admired one day. Even though it was cold, I wore sleeveless or spaghetti strap tops under a thin cardigan. I started to buy my skirts slightly shorter, still not mini short, but instead of one hand above the knee, it was now two hands width, and of a softer thinner and more drapy material so they would show off my curves more.

He started helping me more and more. Whe the new stocks came in, he helped me unpack and label and put up the display. Somehow we stood closer and closer to each other. His hands seemed to brush mine accidentally more and more often, and the fleeting contact was electric. When I stood on a ladder, he would hold the ladder, with his eyes level with my thighs.  Soemtimes we had to squeeze past each other in the cramped store room and whereas in the past, hardly any contact happened, now and then my buttocks would brush against his front, or my breast would make contact with his chest. When I scratched my thigh badly against a safety pin needle that was undone, he insisted on putting a plaster on it personally. Once I struggled to lift a heavy load onto an upper shelf, I felt him come behind me and help out, saying four hands are better. He had to press himself firmly against my back to do this. He felt warm and muscular, nice against my back. When I got into his car, he would always open the door for me, and hold my elbow as I got in. When I ate japanese food, he would mix my wasabi with soya sauce for me, and shell deftly with fork and knife, the baba cheese prawn ebi  mentaiyaki for me. If he sent me back home, he would want to escort me to my door and if I resisted, he would wait till I waved to him from the balcony outside my house door before he drove off. I didn't get any of these from my ex John. He was intelligent, capable, knowledgeable, a gentleman, and he was trim and muscular. A real man. I felt very soft and weak in the legs whenever he was around. I spoke more delicately and softly and gently.. I had never felt more feminine. When I did that, he also spoke back to me in a more tender way.  His manliness got out the woman in me. It made me more carefree and to the moment, and forget all my problems. It was man vs woman as nature wanted us to be. The world didn't matter. Others didn't, when my man came into the shop, he was the earth and I was his moon. He was the stout bamboo, and I was the vine creeping up his side.

He asked me to model for him. He said he couldn't imagine how the clothes would look like without a real life model. We went to many other boutiques to try out many styles. We never bought a single outfit. He wanted to try selling clothes for my generation and salary range. I received so many compliments on my appearance. How pretty I looked, how nice my smile was, how he liked my dimples, how perfect my legs were, how flawless my skin on my shoulders snd my back was.....I posed for him. No photos were allowed by the shop usually. He felt if I had been a bit taller , I could have been a good model. He sold lingerie too, but he didn't get me to try any. He would tell me what lingerie he liked as a man, and I would tell him what I liked. I liked comfortable, with soft fabric, and not too much stiff lace poking me, and covering enough to wear to sleep. He preferred him more kinky stuf. He said you don't have to wear them to sleep. You wear them for sex and you don't put      them on again after having sex. I said most women never wear the kinky stuff their bf buy for them         so you have to sell to the guys if it's going to be too slutty and uncomfortable. However, I would wear whatever turns my bf on the most, but that's me..later on when we became lovers, I remembered what he liked, and enjoyed wearing what turns him on.

We started talking about sex and he was stunned by my frankness. So he shared his own sex life. Basically, the chemistry had gone. Every time she nagged or they had a quarrel, he would be so upset with her, he won't want to have sex with her. After a while, they will make up but before he can start feeling good about her again, another row would erupt. One step forwards n two steps back, so their marriage isn't progressing towards a deeper love.  So sex was like a few times a year only and it had not happened for six months. She was very conservative. She didn't like to give or receive oral sex. Definitely no anal. No sex toys. Lingerie was perverted. No everything. I was the opposite. You could see the jealousy in Freds eyes when I told him what favors my boyfriends get. "I may be rich, but I don't get a fraction of what your bf enjoy,". " it's hard to say who is luckier." "You are giving me a big and hard erection now," he said. " go home and shag your wife," I retorted, "or masturbate." "I don't wantvmy wife, I want you." he teased with a smile. "No thanks, I don't do married men, especially those with kids." I said. "at this moment, I am feeling very unmarried, so can I still qualify?" "Subjectivity doesn't translate into objective reality, dream on" I said. "it's sad to belong to someone else when the right ones come along," he sighed, "be kind, do an old man a favor, and let him taste heaven on earth for just one night in his short and miserable life." He pleaded. " are you telling me that to be kind, I have to have sex with every old and lonely uncle I meet who lusts for my body?  Anyway, you are better off without it. You married her for better or for worse remember? And won't it be worse if I let you have one and only one night of pleasure? You will then know how much you are missing and won't be able to enjoy sex with your wife as much for the rest of your life. Ignorance is bliss. What the mind doesn't see, the heart cannot miss." 不求天长地久，只求曾经拥有" he said, "I don't ask for love as long as heaven and as old as earth, I only  ask that I've ever loved before." He  continued," I'm willing to risk my future happiness for just one night in your arms, and I will never      
   regret it, even if it means a lifetime of longing for you." He looked at me very seriously in the eye, and then said, "and can you please don't call me uncle again?" I laughed and said,"are you serious or joking?" I normally discourage men from fleeting this way because it made me feel and look cheap, but Fred was so earnest and very respectful, and it was impossible to take offence. I looked him over in an appraising glance. He was still in his prime, trim and muscular, agile, and more suave and mature than any man I had ever had. And he had treated me better than any man too. He was the only one who mixed my wasabi for me. He was witty and wise, and I trusted him to treat me well, except he was married with kids, and I don't want to be labelled a home wrecker. Still, he was very eligible as a man, I had a flash image of him fucking me and I didn't mind at all, in fact, he was quite attractive sexually, I suddenly felt desire for him. "Well, do I pass?" He interrupted my thoughts as I was looking him up and down," I stuttered, and blushed deeply, I hoped he hadn't read my thoughts, but my resistance was crumbling, I can't be so easy and cheap! "I don't know, you are not bad at all, but you are married with kids. I'll may consider you when you have divorced your wife." I tried to be cool and calm, but I felt my face was still flushed with both embarrassment and desire. Why does my body betray me like that? " Married men make better lovers," he bantered, missing the cues of my sexual excitement, still trying to persuade when he had won, "I will try to please you as hard as I can, in any way you want." " You are young and single, nows the time to explore the world of men, years from now, you'll be like me, married  but wondering what's it's like with other men, and whether you married the best choice. Now you are young and beautiful, you should take advantage of your charms, when you are older, you will miss these days when everyone wants you. Even if tis not me, it should be some other nice guy, don't look back and keep thinking of John, he's history, let me be the  guy who catches you on the rebound when you are down, and help you forget the past and put you back on your feet again." He was very persuasive. " you horny devil, you just want to have sex with me like an animal, and what happens to me after you have sated your lusts on my body?" I countered, "you are like a wolf who senses when a prey is weak and attacks, you know I'm still feeling very bad  and can't let go of john, and I'm feeling down and unloved, so you want to take advantage of me     when I'm most vulnerable." He was very gentle when he said," I'm sorry Stuly, but while it's true I'll like to have wild animalistic sex with you, it's also true that your vulnerability touches me and makes me want to protect you. If I'm not married , I'll like to date you and be your boyfriend. I think I made a bad mistake marrying my present wife but now I've two sons who need my love and protection so I'll just keep the family together to give them a warm home . By the time they've grown up,I'll be quite old, and my prime would have past. Who would want me then? I'm living this life for my kids. I could be selfish but I cant. So is it so bad of me if I want to explore how things could be with someone else? I've worked with many sales assistants but never hit on any of them. But you are very special,,you are not like a sales assistant at all, you are both smart and yet soft and feminine at the same time, I won't meet someone like you again, and it's not me to go around hunting for women to have affairs with, so I won't get many chances like this in my life or maybe never again. And I don't like to be a dirty old man buying young women with money, and I'm still in my forties so in another ten years, I won't be eligible anymore. Call it my midlife crisis. I know I'm not good enough for you because I'm married, and yes I won't hurt my kids by leaving them so I won't divorce for at least another ten years. You are very pretty and eligible, and I'll introduce you to lots of suitable men, you deserve better than John. Don't waste your precious  youth anymore on him, let me introduce you to society and very eligible bachelors." He was quite passionate as he said all that.

To be continued

Sex with my boss, how it started

I'm going back in time many years to when I was young, curious, and adventurous (and lusty). Whereas sex with my present husband Tom is more love than sex, I had an affair with my married boss where the sex was wonderful but the relationship couldn't develop any further because he couldn't leave his wife and bear to hurt his children. After O levels, I had taken up a job as a salesgirl in a boutique that sold women's clothes in Hilton hotel along Orchard Road. It sold trendy clothes that the owner bought from France, Italy, and Spain and Hong Kong. He paid me very well, $1800 per month, because he wanted someone with good English to service his customers many of whom were from English speaking countries although there were just as many Indonesians. He said I spoke unusually well for a sales assistant. I said its because I like watching English movies and music videos from young. The hours were shopping hours. I had to work from 11am to 9 pm. This didn't give me much time for my steady John who was free everyday after 5 pm but started earlier than me. I had to work alternate Saturdays and Sundays too. That gave young John lots of time to be with other women. I'm sure he had other affairs he didn't tell me about. Maybe I should have been happy just being the one he came home to at the end of the day. Maybe I'm the victim of social norms that don't take into account the natural behavior of a healthy young man in the prime of his life with strong sexual desires. I managed the shop responsibly and the boss liked and trusted me. He said I was the smartest and most capable assistant he had and made me his secretary as well.  He had a branch in Far East Plaza along Scott's Road that sold parallel imports of branded women's clothes and  he had a branch in Shaw centre that sold sexy lingerie. The most successful branch then was in Parkway Parade Shopping centre which sold clothes  similar to Morgan and Mango. He promoted me to store manager. I still had to run the store at Hilton but I had to check the accounts of the other    stores as well as check their inventories so he didn't get cheated. His wife had a full time job with a    big government linked company at a senior level and worked very long hours. She was not involved   in the business at all and I seldom saw her. He made several buying trips a year to meet his suppliers as well as to check out new fashions.


His name is Fred. His mother had been a rich mans mistress and she had been given a large condo at
Grange Heights at St Thomas Walk to live in as well as set up with a dress shop at Hilton to run to
keep her occupied. Fred was their illegitimate son. He had studied business administration at NUS but  had decided to continue with his mothers businesses instead of getting a paid job. He was in his forties and had two young sons. He was slightly shorter than John but he was lean and muscular as he liked to exercise. I liked his body. It was manly. I find hair attractive and like his hairy chest. After our torrid affair started, I got him to keep a mustache. I liked his lean wiry look with ample buttocks  and broad shoulders. His face was more rugged and masculine but he was not as handsome as John.  

The most sexy thing about him was that he spoke well and wittily. The least sexy thing about him    was that he was married with kids. He was a knowledgeable man of the world with lots of real
life stories to tell. He liked to dress well and he was always asking my opinion of his fashionable
clothes. He had a surprising knowledge of women's fashion and he was always asking me and other women how we felt about women's clothes. He always treated me very well but he kept his distance from me and our relationship was avuncular, like an uncle and niece, until I broke up with John three years later.

I was feeling very bad about myself after John dumped me for his polytechnic mate. It was worse because my desperation to keep him meant I accepted all his abuses and insults near the end. But I was  finally left alone anyway, feeling like a pile of shit. That's why I was vulnerable to Fred's advances even though he was married.  Fred was very sweet to me when he realized what was     happening. He noticed that I was down, that I wasn't rushing to close the shop, that I stopped        requesting for weekends off and early closing of the shop to go somewhere. There was usually no    
dinner at home, as my mum works nights so he advised me how to eat healthily. He was a fitness    man. "Eggs", he said, "they are nutritious and not fattening, and they are so easy to prepare. Always    crack a couple of eggs into your noodles. One evening he called to check if I was going home for  dinner alone and when I answered yes, he turned up at closing time with a 24 pack of eggs, broccoli, green leafy vegetables ( sio Pek chai ) fresh mushrooms, tins of spiced pork cubes, baked beans, dace fish with black beans, tuna, etc. Army food he said, and no harm having a good meal to cheer yourself up, then he drove me home as he said it's not convenient to take the eggs on the train.


Fred seemed able to lift my spirits more than my mom and my brother. They tried too, but I suppose the attentions of Fred was better for my self esteem. And my self esteem was at an all time low so the attentions of an attractive man was what I needed most. Fred turned up at my branch more often and near closing time, and since I was going home to dine alone anyway, I accepted his occasional invitations for dinner. I told Fred all about John. He said that John didn't realize how good I was, that I was attractive and nice, and that a lot of good men will like me. He said that if he was not married, he would date me for sure. He wonders if he made the right choice of wife as they are always quarreling when she gets back home from work late and tired whereas he's usually fresh and fit. They also fought often over the kids education with Fred thinking the system is crazy and he can't stand his wife scolding the boys over undone school work the moment she gets home. He brings his kids to the  beach or to the golf driving range in the evenings, but when she arrives to join them at the beach for dinner at 8pm, her first question to the sweaty or sand covered kids would be,"have you done your homework?" Does it look like they have done their work?" Fred would reply. "Look, the sand has destroyed my high heels." So Fred asks the driver to provide a pair of sandals in the car if she's joining them at the beach.  His wife is ok when fresh but snaps at everyone when she is stressed or tired, and nowadays, that's like all the time. The family support for the kids isn't great and Fred feels  
    things will be better if she quits her job. However, she doesn't want to. She likes working. I don't  like   kids and the only ones I will tolerate and care for are my own. Even then I don't want to spend the   entire day with them. I need a break. You can fire your staff but you can't fire your kids. It's easy for   you. You just play with them but I've got to organize the maids, the tuition, the Enrichment classes etc..

So there we were companions in misery who ended up as partners in bed. At first it was just a meal. Lunch or dinner. Normally my solitary dinner will be late, maybe 9-10 pm in the large coffee shop in the ground floor of the next block of HDB flats (Housing and Development Board 99 y leased flats government subsidized in which 90% of Singaporeans stay). I don't eat there alone, I buy something back but often I'm tired and jsut go straight home to unwind and snack on whatever mom left over in the fridge or my favorite instant noodles. After I broke up with John, I missed having some one to have dinner with on weekdays. I often just missed dinner altogether, or just had an apple or orange. I ate less and lost weight, and became pale, hence Fred's concern. Because there was often customers around lunch, I got my neighbors to buy back for me or ate biscuits with instant coffee. Fred was appreciative of this and if he came down to check the shop, he would sometimes buy some hawker  food for me. Or if business was slow, he would close the shop and bring me over to Far East Shopping Centre for a quick bite. He became a friend and still is my very good friend to this day  although we have stopped having sex after we officially broke up. He always remembers my birthday  and once a year, around my birthday month, we would have dinner. Even now, with permission from my husband, I have an annual dinner with my ex boss, and it's like old friends catching up. Tom doesn't know about our affair and I can't tell him if I want to continue this platonic friendship. It's not like the west, where are people are more open about each other's ex lover or spouse.

I didn't feel guilty about the whole affair as it happened so spontaneously. At first, I felt I was just  making a friend and having a meal only. And what's wrong with that? Soemtimes we would discuss  the accounts and what the customer feedback was regarding preferences and sizes. It was work too.    The work wasquite lonely. I was often the only person in the shop and when there were two, I had to   go check the accounts of the other shops. Fred was often the only person I socialized with the whole day. The bright spark in an otherwise dreary day.

To be continued...

Sex and Love with my husband Tom

Introduction
I've had a few  medium to long term relationships and quite a few short term affairs over many years. Maybe I'm better at the sex part than the love part as I have broken up with all my previous boyfriends and I'm hoping for better luck this time. I just got married when I was two months pregnant and I'm expecting in September. I also advised two very close female married friends on how to improve their sex lives. I also think I'm good at satisfying my men sexually and I'm very liberal and frank (online only) If you think that's good enough for me to have something interesting to say about sex, read on...

Sex
The utmost important thing is to choose a partner who is not inhibited and repressed about sex.  Sex is also about play and adventure and if you married a stern serious strict old fashioned puritanical person with no sense of fun then its very difficult. A lifetime of habits and ideas imbibed in childhood is very hard to overcome.

Love
Just as important is love. I didn't marry an ideal sex partner by far. Tom is Christian. Whilst he didn't believe sex was only for procreation and making babies only and was ok with sex for pleasure, he is the most old fashioned of all my lovers and is quite uptight about what's proper in sex. He's very straight. He's actually the lousiest lover of all my lovers. However, he's the one who loves me the most and is the nicest to me. If you line all my exes in front of me, he's also quite low in the face handsomeness ranking ( all my men turn out to be slender and of decent build). Yet I'll still choose
him again. He's nice to people in general also. We all take each other for granted for a while but it's
good to start off from a higher level of love. Love is more important than sex.
Little things like walking hand in hand all the time, like always rushing home to be with me insteadof hanging out with the guys, watching movies together with popcorn, always listening to what I have
to say respectfully whether or not he agreed. etc..

Sex with Tom
It's the best because he really likes me a lot and he's very affectionate and tender in his caresses. I feel quite loved and respected and it's always a pleasure to have sex with him whether I come or not. It's a warm, cozy and happy experience and I'm always in the mood to have sex with him whenever he wants sex because he's so nice to me when we are at it. I feel good after sex. With some of my other lovers, I am made to feel empty or discarded or very cheap after having had sex. Why do they treat me so coldly after I've worked so hard to give them a good experience. I would clean myself and
them up with a wet towel, and offer drinks or food and warm conversation to try to keep up the friendliness but they tend to withdraw after sex. If I complain, I end up arguing and then the evening is ruined. I don't understand that. With Tom, if I lie back and go to sleep after cumming,he cleans me up if there is semen spilt. It's the other way round.

We usually have sex in bed in the missionary position, lying on the side with him entering me from behind or me lying on my back,with him lying on his side and entering me at an angle. I come often especially when he rubs my clitoris. If he's tired, I get to do my favorite position which is to ride him like a horse, facing him. That way, if I lean forward, I can grind my clitoris against his pubic area.  Our sex is quite monotonous, always the same but I don't mind doing the same position again and again for the rest of my life as long as he's kind to me. I wont get bored with his niceness.

We are very different when it comes to sex. I look and behave very sweet and demure but really, once
you get past my defenses, I'm like a wanton slut but he's very straight and religious. His parents are
just as puritanical. He at first believed in sex only after marriage so for a very long time we only held hands and kissed. It took him a long time before he had sex with me. Once we kissed nonstop for an hour until I came. The only time in my life I've come from kissing. We were both very surprised when I came and he  thought he had hurt me! He put me on a pedestal but I couldn't tell him that I'm no angel. I couldn't tell him I've been fucked in every single orifice and enjoyed it. Nor could I tell him that even to this day, his sperm is the only one of all my lovers that I've not tasted.
When I suck his cock, he doesn't like it enough to want to come in my mouth or face. He always pulls
out to enter my vagina. When I ask him how he feels about about something sexual, he often says this is disgusting, or that is weird or sick, so how can I tell him how I feel? When I mentioned about anal sex, he said its so dirty and perverted. So we got married without me telling him about my sexual past and my sexual preferences. I think he doesn't want to know. Once, after some petting but before we had started having sex together regularly, and we were both relaxed and chatting, I asked him whether anything about women turned him on especially, and whether he had any kinky desires I could fulfill. He replied that he liked sweet innocent girls like me and that he was turned off by all the slutty girls in porn who had very low morals. By that time, I had grown to love him and wanted him too badly to risk showing him what I really was like sexually. I know this is wrong and I'm very sorry about this but I was already 32 then and I've already had so many men who wouldn't commit, and I desperately wanted him and wanted to start a family with him. I was hoping in vain so many times. They mostly  like the sex but they wouldn't commit to the future. Maybe they couldn't take my questioning and talking back. Tom was the opposite. He liked me because he found my conversation interesting. Sex was important but so was companionship to him. My girlfriends said I had sex too readily with my ex boyfriends. Usually by the fifth or sixth date, I'll let them touch me. Since I was so easy taken, they didn't treasure what they got so easily. So with Tom, I rejected all physical intimacy the first year and only let him progress in the second year, so by the time he got me, it was nearly the end of the second year. I let him persuade me with long chats, romantic dinners, flowers, gifts, cards, and enjoyed it
every step of the way. I fought over letting my dress, my bra and my panties be removed. I refused to let him enter me until he had brought me to many orgasms over several dates by stroking my clitoris. And when we finally had vaginal sex, and he came inside me, I told him that he had conquered me and that I was now his and his only. He was my proud owner.

The future of our sex life
I'm going to work on Tom slowly so he gets more adventurous in bed. This is going to take years. I can wait. Im going to show him my sexual self slowly, a bit at a time, and make him like me as I am, a fully sexual woman. I've had wild sex with many men, and such sex is easier to get. I can't get another Tom who treats me so well and is financially secure so easily. My love life is already perfect. I return his love by being as nice to him as he is to me and by being sexually faithful. Now I get to work on a more exciting sexual relationship. As for being faithful, I mean in deed. But in thought, when he's a bit of a bore in bed, I sometimes fantasize that he is someone else, doing all sorts of wicked things to me and forcing me to perform all sorts of sexual acts.
One of the reasons I refuse his efforts to convert me is the bible saying that he or she who has looked upon another person with lust has already committed adultery in his/her heart. There's no way I can live up to that kind of high standard, and I refuse to believe that others are also not lusting with their eyes. As long as I don't sleep with another man, I can imagine what I want, and still be faithful to him.

My next post will be about how I plan to seduce Tom into my ideal sex partner without making him think lowly of me..

Letters from readers

Come across your blog randomly and read it thoroughly.  

Based on the limited information, I would say you dodge a bullet there by getting out (even though he is the one leaving) from such abusive and dysfunctional relationship. It is clear that your ex is not a person that is capable of love when he choose to sleep around and use your body as his personal sexual tool.

On top of the physical abuse, he even make tried and succeeded to make you feel that is was your fault for the revenge sex. Of course, two wrong doesn't make it right but if he think you are unforgivable, he should just leave you and not trying to justify his action by blackmailing you emotionally. You may still love him, but I can guarantee you that he never love you before. You are just a fuck hole to him. He kept you because you are conveniently available.

So don't feel bad for yourself, be thankful that you managed to leave before it turn worse.

If you writing is merely frictional, then I'm glad that you didn't have to gone through the shit that you mentioned in the blog.

From, xxxxxx

Dear xxxxxx

Thanks a lot for your sympathy. 

You may not believe this but after several years, when both John and I had had other lovers, we got back together to give ourselves a second chance. That's the thing about first love. It's was clearer when I already had other men to compare with, that he wasn't that great except for his looks. He was spoilt by his mother and still so attached to her, he STILL couldn't make decisions for us without consulting her continuously. I was nice to his family but he didn't reciprocate. The last straw was when nearing our tenth anniversary, he still didn't want to get married, as he wanted to focus on his career first. I wanted a clear commitment which still wasn't going to come, so I just stopped waiting for him.

It wasn't as though I was abused and used all the way. We had a grand trip to Malacca, and I kept trying to model our relationship on beautiful memory of that. We had periods of happiness and times of just doing ordinary things together. I did enjoy having sex with him. It's just that looking back, I describe the key moments that were memorable. 

The silver lining is I have had several very different lovers instead of a one and only, so unlike other couples who married their first loves, I don't wonder what other men are like, nor wonder how else life could have been. I'm now married and pregnant. My husband,Tom,is very very nice to me, my friends, and my family. He's also a more stable provider, and better qualified with a master degree from NUS working in the government service. He is quite a bit taller and slender, like John, but no where as handsome. However, after a while, his ugly face has become cute and adorable. We are renovating our resale 4 room (@1000 square feet)HDB flat now. 

I'm 35 and I wanted a child, a healthy one. He's a couple of years younger, a virgin, and I was his first girlfriend, so I told him I know it's not fair to ask him for anything but I couldn't wait. It didn't matter if he didn't marry me in the end, I'd be happy to have his child and be a single mother. No strings attached, not even child support from him. Shocking? So we had unprotected sex and after a couple of years, I became pregnant. Strange how he could accept it despite being a Christian. And all those single Christian girls in his church but he chose a freethinker like me. When he found out I was pregnant, he proposed! and we got married with a baby in my tummy. So life is good. Almost perfect except my work environment could be better.

I was hounding John about settling down, but he was so reluctant. But with Tom, I just surrendered and gave up. I told him I was happy to have had the pleasure of his companionship for whatever period we stayed together, and both the sex and the baby was No Strings Attached. That was a great aphrodisiac for him.  He wanted much more sex after I said that to him. 

I write because a lot of what I think, I cannot express in my private life because it's not acceptable to the people around me, but I need to get them off my chest and express them. I hope my candour will allow other people to open up and talk more freely about sex and love and maybe be more true to themselves. I think that will help some people. In reaction to not being able to even use words like cock and cunt in my daily conversations, I list every single disgusting little detail about what I've done. I have a strong sex drive which is unacceptable in oriental society. To protect myself from people who cannot accept what I've said and who may be vicious, I've changed all the names and places and even the events have been changed keeping the principle of the story true. My photo looks a dead ringer for me but it's not me, my school is in the north, my birthday year is correct. My occupation is correct. 

What is the truth? I'm more real in the virtual world but more virtual  in the real world. 

 Stuly