Love and sex with my first boyfriend

Love and sex with my first boyfriend. How it ended.

What do I think of my first love relationship that lasted ten years from 16 to 26?  It was great at first and then we were very comfortable together, and then the love slowly died in the last five years. I still can't forget our first date, our first kiss, our first time having sex as well a few other times, and some of the holidays. I don't regret my relationship with John, just regret that we couldn't love each other to the end. The pain, the tears and the bitter words. Like someone said, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Like some of my schoolmates, who still haven't had a boyfriend yet.

Why did we break up?  I felt he took me for granted. Sundays must be spent having dinner with his family at his flat in Woodlands while Saturdays, he preferred his drinking buddies and didn't want me along. Anyway I don't like his pals. That left us with Friday nights but I often work late and I worked Saturday mornings as well. Even though I often slept over on in his room weekends, but I didn't feel like I had a boyfriend. Sometimes 2-3 weekends went by without a date.

You could say we worked too hard and drifted apart. It was bad enough when he did some interior design drawing to help his fathers renovation contractor business. It got bad when he did as stint as a bartender. I worked days and he worked nights. Not enough time spent doing things together. As for sex, somehow it had become repetitive and routine, and either he was too tired or I was. Sometimes, he just wanted release, so I had to jerk him off or suck his cock until he came. Then he promptly went to sleep after that. That's how self centered and selfish he was. Spoilt my being his mothers precious only son. Throughout our ten years, he didn't wait for me to come first. Once he came, that was it. Why didn't I make a fuss? Because it wasn't so important to me whether I had an orgasm or not. I enjoyed the warmth and closeness when we have sex. That he wanted me was enough. Why didn't I tell him what I liked? I did, but in my gentle way, and he wasn't sensitive enough. That's just me and I suppose, many Singaporean women are like that too. We can't be too frank about our sexual preferences. We would appear too slutty to be respected or loved.


He wasnt shy to tell me how he wanted it though. He liked to have me massaging his balls with one hand and stroking the shaft with other, while I sucked the head of his cock. He liked me licking the groove underneath the glans and the underside of the head, the part called the frenulum . He also liked me tugging the head with my lips while inserting the tip of my tongue into his urethral opening but that was difficult to do without nipping him with my teeth. He never thought too highly of my cock sucking skills even though I tried to develop them. We would watch porn videos and I'll try to copy what was being done so as give him variety and to please him. When he was tired he would just lie back but he liked to look at me so he would pull my hair back to see me in action. When he was fresh, he liked me to kneel down on the floor and service him while he stood up. He would make me stick out my hands behind my back as though I was tied up and stick my breasts forward for him to fondle. He would grab my breasts roughly or pinch my nipples hard. I love being treated this way like a prostitute, it always makes me very wet. Especially when he grabs my head and pumps his cock through my oval lips freshly lined with glossy lipstick and uses my mouth like a vagina. It's also exciting when he forces his cock deep to the back of my throat until I almost gag or vomit. I'm a sucker for being treated roughly and being called names like slut or prostitute or whore or his sex slave. Then he comes all over my face or in my mouth but I don't like it in my hair. I just don't like the taste of semen so I would usually open my mouth and let it drip out with saliva over my chin and chest. If he has been angry with me, he would force me to swallow it, like swallowing my pride. Somehow after a big fight, when I don't feel like having sex at all, he gets aroused, like an animal. How can he be angry with me and still want sex with me! I will never understand. He would insist I service him, and I know then that when he comes, he will always comes in my mouth and force me to swallow. After he comes, I would usually clean his cock thoroughly by sucking and licking, but he would still want me to get a damp cloth to clean his genitals before he falls asleep.

I always get aroused from sucking his cock while he handles me roughly, but he always cums, then goes to sleep, leaving me unsatisfied. Why don't I insist on my rights to an orgasm? Maybe I was young and shy to ask. I'm different now of course, and I would ask nicely and gently to be pleasured, but I didn't know how to do it then. After he falls asleep, I would often masturbate, sometimes watching porn, until I have an orgasm. This happens very fast as I'm quite stimulated after sucking his cock. I suppose I let him have his way because he was handsome and I was glad to catch him, but I'm pretty too, though not as pretty as he is handsome, and there were many guys who wanted me .

One night, even after we had broken up for a couple of years and he had found a girlfriend from China, he turned up half drunk at my doorstep at 2 am. I already had another boyfriend by then although not steady, but he insisted I have sex with him. He was sad and crying, and somehow he got me to do everything he wanted, partly by force, partly by pleading, partly by raising his voice and threatening to wake up my mother and my brother. He started by talking about why we broke up and asking whether I missed him. When I said I did, he forced himself upon me. It wasn't rape, but it was more like a spoilt child wanting his way. However, his China girlfriend had trained him to be a much better lover. When I was going down on him, he put his fingers over my buttocks, and started stroking my vulva and my clitoris as well as my my vagina. He even went down on me and licked my clitoris while squeezing my nipples. He had not given me a blow job for a very long time because he said he didn't like the smell of my cunt. We didn't cum for a long time because I was having all sorts of mixed thoughts and feelings about what we were doing. My current boyfriend, what my family would be thinking, does he want to come back to me, and whether I wanted him back, but most of all images of his current girlfriend from china.  He took a surprising time too because he was half drunk or because he was sad or confused. So after maybe two hours of pumping, I had an intense orgasm just before he came. We didn't make up though. He did ask me to once but that was it, and I said no. Just like I had sex with him because he had insisted and persisted, I might have gone back to him if he had shown more sincerity and passion. Now we will never know because he has married that MIC ( made in China) girl. Maybe he has better sex with her and he just wanted to compare again who was better before he married and obviously I lost. Maybe she can put up with him better but I was too hot tempered. Yes I'm submissive and compliant in the bedroom, but in the living room, I can be very sensitive to any disrespect. It's paradoxical, but I'm sometimes called chilli padi ( a tiny red chili which is deceptively small but very spicy, and which I like with my food). But after two years, he can't just ask to come back once and expect me to say yes straight away. I have my pride.