My First Love and Sex Partner

Hi! I'm Stuly. I enjoy love and sex.. It's natural for a healthy young attractive woman like me to  want the attention of charming and handsome men.  Its also natural for men to lust after a woman. There is nothing wrong with men and women desiring or approaching each other as long as the feelings are mutual, limits are observed, and nobody is being inconvenienced.  I enjoy the whole process of getting to know each other and dating and doing things together, but the ultimate between a man and a woman is not complete without sex. When I like a guy, I like him because something about him appeals to me as well as his physical attractiveness. Its never completely platonic, nor is it ever completely sexual desire. It's a mixture and sometimes I can't tell how much is love and how much is lust till later. 

I have no childhood ideas about what sex should be like because my parents never told me anything about what I should or shouldn't do. My father left with another woman when I was very young so I didn't have a model of what an ideal relationship between a man and a woman  is like.

When I reached puberty, I stumbled upon a large collection of pornographic videos and books my father left behind and that formed the basis of my sexual fantasies and masturbation. Because of that, I am very open to anything in sex and get aroused by the same situations as what I saw and read in those early teenage years. I am not a nymphomaniac. I don't go hunting for men.  But when I do get into a relationship with sex, I am sexually adventurous and open to all suggestions. I also read lots of Harlequins and Mills and Boon romances for women too and would like to be swept off my feet by a Prince Charming one day, but I'm still waiting and hoping. Still, I'm too conservative to suggest new things to my lover or tell my female friends how i really feel in case they think I'm a slut. I can only say what I truly feel under the anonymity of the Internet.

My first boyfriend, John, was a classmate who sat behind me and liked to tease me. I was sixteen. He was tall, lanky and handsome. I've always liked tall men with good English. John's English is passable but he really is good looking. Im not stunning but I'm pretty enough to turn the heads of men, especially the lecherous retired old men at the kopi tiams and the MRT trains. I'm petite at 1.58m and slender, with a weight of 45kg then and now. I've slender legs but they could be a bit more slender. They look much better in high heels. My breasts are an average Asian B cup, but my assets are my nice round butt, and my shoulders and smooth back. I have an attractive face which is a bit too round but I've got very good skin. I also have soft straight hair and nice dimples when I smile. 

I was John's first girlfriend too. I was in the right place at the right age. He had just became a man and I was blossoming as a woman. You could say I nabbed him first. Throughout our ten years together, there were always women attempting to chat him up and many temptations for him. He had his flings and I had mine out of revenge and curiosity. It's been six years since we broke up, but I haven't been able to find a replacement as good looking as him yet. 

We were really slow. We went to each others house but nothing happened. We only started holding hands after dating for several months, and had our first French kiss at one year. However, it was only two weeks  after our first kiss before we had full blown  sex.  We started kissing and caressing in the park near my house. I had my first orgasm with him after kissing and necking for an hour. The sensation of smooth slippery lip against  lip was very sensual. Thats the only time in my life i have had an orgasm without genital stimulation. The fires of spring, once aroused, is irresistible and addictive. I wanted him inside me, and I wanted him to desire me. I dressed as he wanted me. Short skirts, G strings, bare shoulders, high heels etc. One horny night, on a park bench, after I had stroked his penis and he had petted my wet cunt for half an hour, I lifted my skirt and sat back on him and let him penetrate me from behind. My hymen had already been stretched from the previous two weeks of him ramming in three to four fingers and so the pain was minimal. He pulled down my tube top, took off my bra, and grabbed my breasts as I ground my butt against his pelvis. I was on heat and for a while! I didn't care if people were watching. It was pleasurable and I felt that I had joined the big league of adults and their entertainments.  Within five minutes of my gyrations and his pumping, he came inside me. He told me he was coming but I didn't want to stop. I wanted to go all the way and do everything. I didnt come but I didn't mind.  It was a very pleasant way to spend the night together and I felt more connected to John than I had ever been.

We were both very worried about getting pregnant for the next two weeks till my period came. But there was no guilt about having premarital sex and I don't think any of my friends or Johns friends ever felt guilty. I mean almost every one is having premarital sex these days and it happens on TV and in the movies. In the west people live together for years without bothering to get married and sometimes only do so when they want to have kids. So teaching secondary school kids not to have sex before marriage is a waste of time. Its not going to be effective. Not when they watch it in TV everyday and its in all the novels. Its like preaching that sex is for procreation and not for pleasure alone. It's going to happen anyway, and it's better to teach them contraception and protection.

Preaching abstinence and religious prohibitions is just going to make people feel guilty about pleasuring each other and affect their happiness and their ability to enjoy sex fully. Saying masturbation and pornography is bad is going to affect people exploring and understanding their sexuality and affect their ability to fully express and enjoy their sexual part of their nature. Like it or not, we were made for sex. Just look at the animal kingdom and our genes.We won't even be here if someone didn't have sex on his or her mind. Life is short, and a fulfilling sexual relationship in the prime of our life is going to be something to look back on when we are old and be able to say, "no regrets, no matter what, I'm  glad I had my fun and glorious days in the sun."
Instead of " I wish I had done this or that."

Next blog, I shall speak about how John and I developed over the ten years we were together and our sexual relationship.

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