I'm a mom! I finally have my own baby! Yes, it's Toms baby, not Fred's. He's perfectly formed, thank goodness! I'm an old mom at 35 so I was worried. There was hardly any pain. The only pains I had were before the epidural anesthesia. My progress was slow so I ended up with a Caesarian. Now I've a scar along the panty line but at least my vagina is still tight for my husband.
But my sexual desires have vanished with the birth of Tim. All that lust that had me masturbating has vanished. My sex hormones have crashed and I'm feeling a bit hollow and empty inside. Weepy even. Tom has been very sweet and supportive and he has taken a month off to be with me so it really helps chase away the blues. I get enough rest as he helps out with changing the diapers and washing the baby.
Tim is so cute, and so hungry. Hes always latching on to my nipples and sucking on them so many times a day. Then he goes to sleep. Unlike when a man sucks on my nipples, I feel no sexual stimulation whatsoever, which goes to show how psychological sex is. Watching him, I feel a tinge of regret about losing my first pregnancy. The baby would be a big twelve year old now and taking hsi PSLE.
If I hadn't aborted Freds baby, I would have been set up in a apartment in Orchard Road near his shops where Fred could visit when he was working and maybe I might have had another child as well. I would spend all my time being a mother and being Freds mistress. However weekends my kids won't have a father to be at home with and I won't have a man to cuddle to sleep with every night and wish me good morning every day with a kiss.
Yes, I was pregnant before, with my ex boss's baby, a long time ago. That was maybe 12-13 years ago when I was 21-22 and deeply in love with my married boss. In the first month of our affair, the sex was so exciting and hot, I couldn't think straight, I just wanted him deep inside me when he came to feel complete. Fred always wanted to pull out but I held on to his body and hugged him closer and told him to cum inside me. I always want that when im having good sex. It feels more complete and natural and satisfying and was part of the stimulation. When I'm having hot sex with the man I love, when I am about to cum or had just cummed, I want to surrender completely to him by letting him cum inside me. Its the ultimate surrender, to let him impregnate me.It's We were having sex almost daily so before the month was over, I had missed my period.
That's how I also got pregnant withTom. We weren't married but I liked him so much, I was having unprotected sex again and let him cum inside me. When we came, I said I wanted his baby and asked him to cum deeply inside me. I told him there were no strings attached and if he didn't want to be a father, then I'll have the baby alone without any help from him. I was saying it even before he proposed. It was a love baby whether or not Tom still wanted me but this time I wasn't aborting. I was already 34 then. I would be a mother even if I had to do it single handedly. Luckily Tom wanted both me and the baby.
Fred handled my pregnancy very well. Even though he was married with kids. He started by telling me that if I wanted the baby, he would be responsible for it. He would pay for all expenses for bringing him up and even for me if I wanted to be a full time mother. He would try to be there for the baby but that would be a problem as he also has his own family and kids. He would treat me like a second wife.
After he had reassured me he wasn't running away, he listed all the disadvantages of being a single mother so young and of course there were so many reasons. I remember the most important reason was that I wasn't ready to be a mother. I wanted adventure and sex, not motherhood. Fred personally brought me to a gynecologist, and I didn't even need an operation. The doctor gave me a very high dose of hormones by mouth and that was it. I felt nauseated and vomited a few times but the baby was gone, and I had my period shortly after. I regretted it for weeks. I felt the baby was a permanent connection with Fred which would have tied him to me forever. I might eventually have been able to get him to commit to me fully, even though he said he couldn't at first. I went on oral contraceptive pills after that mini abortion. .
One of the reasons my affair with Fred lasted so long was his willingness to have a baby with me. I
felt secure and loved. It wasn't just sex alone and yet the sex was great. I wonder how our baby would have turned out, would he have Freds sleepy eyes? Etc and I feel a bit guilty, but I think I made the
right decision, I wouldn't have been a good mother then. Now, more than a decade later, having seen the world, and having had affairs with quite a few men, I'm ready to settle down and focus on someone else's needs instead of mine.
But my sexual desires have vanished with the birth of Tim. All that lust that had me masturbating has vanished. My sex hormones have crashed and I'm feeling a bit hollow and empty inside. Weepy even. Tom has been very sweet and supportive and he has taken a month off to be with me so it really helps chase away the blues. I get enough rest as he helps out with changing the diapers and washing the baby.
Tim is so cute, and so hungry. Hes always latching on to my nipples and sucking on them so many times a day. Then he goes to sleep. Unlike when a man sucks on my nipples, I feel no sexual stimulation whatsoever, which goes to show how psychological sex is. Watching him, I feel a tinge of regret about losing my first pregnancy. The baby would be a big twelve year old now and taking hsi PSLE.
If I hadn't aborted Freds baby, I would have been set up in a apartment in Orchard Road near his shops where Fred could visit when he was working and maybe I might have had another child as well. I would spend all my time being a mother and being Freds mistress. However weekends my kids won't have a father to be at home with and I won't have a man to cuddle to sleep with every night and wish me good morning every day with a kiss.
Yes, I was pregnant before, with my ex boss's baby, a long time ago. That was maybe 12-13 years ago when I was 21-22 and deeply in love with my married boss. In the first month of our affair, the sex was so exciting and hot, I couldn't think straight, I just wanted him deep inside me when he came to feel complete. Fred always wanted to pull out but I held on to his body and hugged him closer and told him to cum inside me. I always want that when im having good sex. It feels more complete and natural and satisfying and was part of the stimulation. When I'm having hot sex with the man I love, when I am about to cum or had just cummed, I want to surrender completely to him by letting him cum inside me. Its the ultimate surrender, to let him impregnate me.It's We were having sex almost daily so before the month was over, I had missed my period.
That's how I also got pregnant withTom. We weren't married but I liked him so much, I was having unprotected sex again and let him cum inside me. When we came, I said I wanted his baby and asked him to cum deeply inside me. I told him there were no strings attached and if he didn't want to be a father, then I'll have the baby alone without any help from him. I was saying it even before he proposed. It was a love baby whether or not Tom still wanted me but this time I wasn't aborting. I was already 34 then. I would be a mother even if I had to do it single handedly. Luckily Tom wanted both me and the baby.
Fred handled my pregnancy very well. Even though he was married with kids. He started by telling me that if I wanted the baby, he would be responsible for it. He would pay for all expenses for bringing him up and even for me if I wanted to be a full time mother. He would try to be there for the baby but that would be a problem as he also has his own family and kids. He would treat me like a second wife.
After he had reassured me he wasn't running away, he listed all the disadvantages of being a single mother so young and of course there were so many reasons. I remember the most important reason was that I wasn't ready to be a mother. I wanted adventure and sex, not motherhood. Fred personally brought me to a gynecologist, and I didn't even need an operation. The doctor gave me a very high dose of hormones by mouth and that was it. I felt nauseated and vomited a few times but the baby was gone, and I had my period shortly after. I regretted it for weeks. I felt the baby was a permanent connection with Fred which would have tied him to me forever. I might eventually have been able to get him to commit to me fully, even though he said he couldn't at first. I went on oral contraceptive pills after that mini abortion. .
One of the reasons my affair with Fred lasted so long was his willingness to have a baby with me. I
felt secure and loved. It wasn't just sex alone and yet the sex was great. I wonder how our baby would have turned out, would he have Freds sleepy eyes? Etc and I feel a bit guilty, but I think I made the
right decision, I wouldn't have been a good mother then. Now, more than a decade later, having seen the world, and having had affairs with quite a few men, I'm ready to settle down and focus on someone else's needs instead of mine.
Good to hear your back :)
ReplyDeleteGood to see that the baby is for and well...
Thanks.
DeleteCongratulations on the baby! Enjoy motherhood. I bet you are surprised as to why your urges have vanished. In earlier posts you were more worried about whether Tom would still be sexually attracted to you after your delivery. Its amazing how things change beyond what we could imagine.
ReplyDeleteMy wife is due soon and I hope that there will be an upturn in my fortunes as the dry spell has gone on for a long time. I wanna be faithful so am keeping the faith and hope.
U got to slip a vigra tablet in her tea whens shes not looking lol
DeleteYes, please remain faithful a bit longer. It would be terrible for all of you stray now and get found out just as you are about to start a happy family.
Delete